Tag Archives: joy

The Secret of Life

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My cell phone’s ringtone is a song by James Taylor, “Secret O’ Life” and when it rang this morning it reminded me of the meaning of its lyrics.  They tell us that the secret of life is enjoying the passage of time…sounds simple doesn’t it?

For me, enjoying the passage of time means that we can learn to embrace life as we move through time.  When we are grieving, we tend to hold onto memories, emotions, and feelings from when our loved one was with us, for we feel that is all we have left of them. 

But, we really have more than that; we simply need to look in our heart to feel the love that lives outside time.  So, when we get bogged down in grief and hold onto what was, perhaps we can move to a place where we can touch the love that we feel right now and release some of our sadness.

The song’s lyrics also invite us to view life as a “lovely ride”, and as such we should enjoy the ride and anticipate what’s around the next bend, and occasionally remember with fondness and love what’s also behind us.  Most importantly though is to be present with where you are, and what you are feeling at THIS moment in time.  For NOW is all we have in the dimension of time.

We really are simply passengers on our “lifeboat” as we move through the waters of time, touching lives, feeling joy and sadness, sharing love and then allowing time’s passage to carry us in its arms to our next destination–while enjoying the passage of time.

Sharon Clark

www.griefinterlude.com

 

 

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Out of the dark…Renewed

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As Mother Nature sheds her winter’s coat, she dons a spring wardrobe of cherry blossoms & green grass…renewed.  We, too, can emerge from a winter of grief, renewed and ready for new hope & beginnings that are offered by spring. 

I was reminded last week of these assurances as I walked in a local park enjoying the new leaves & tulips blooming vividly, feeling the warmth of the sun on my shoulders.  Just as the sun may disappear behind clouds, we are assured that it is still there, shining brightly, so too is our assurance that we can be renewed to shine again as well.  

We are changed of course, given the loss of our loved one, but we can find new beginnings through Mother Nature’s example.  Life is a series of cycles, some longer than others.  The life force that exists that urges the flower above the soil to bloom at the right time of year is the same presence that connects our feelings of love to our loved one.  Only the masks of fear, distrust, and hopelessness distort its eternal nature.   

So, I encourage you to take a walk & connect with spring’s beauty, and absorb the hopefulness around you.  You, too, can emerge from grief’s darkness and feel a sense of renewal.

Sharon Clark

www.griefinterlude.com

4/17/11

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Letting Go of the Rice

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I recently read an entry from Mark Nepo’s “The Book of Awakening” where he shared a story from ancient China of a method used to trap monkeys.  A hole the size of a monkey’s hand was cut into coconuts, filled with rice and strewn on paths the monkeys traveled.  As the monkeys smelled the rice, they put their hands through the hole, closed a fist around the anticipated meal but found that since their fist was too large to withdraw from the hole, they were trapped by their own making. Those who released the rice and withdrew their hands found freedom.

This story resonated because many times we find ourselves holding onto the “rice” of grief:  the familiarity of its embrace and even the comfort of returning to that space of yearning for what was, may be appealing.  But, just as the monkeys who refused to release their fists filled with rice, many of us grieving who refuse to let go of the grief are also trapped. We may fear that when we release some of it, we also are releasing the love we feel for our loved one. 

We may fear the future.  We may fear finding a way to move forward without our loved one.  And, we may even fear feeling joy again.  Sadly, we may confuse any joy we find with “disrespect” for what we shared with our departed loved one.  This may be an unconscious feeling that feeds our responses and limits our actions.  I would encourage you to see if you are “trapped” with your fist closed around your “rice” of grief.  Opening your fist may also open your heart to new joy.

Sharon Clark

3/09/11

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