Grief & the Holidays
December 6, 2009
Grief doesn’t take a “holiday” during the Holidays; in fact, many times it becomes even more intense.
Recalling family holiday traditions, and reliving our past when our loved one was still with us, inevitably happens. Playing videos of Christmases past, whether literally or in our mind’s eye, is part of the “season”.
Bittersweet holiday carols surround us as we walk through shopping centers, and sometimes we feel as though we’ve been assaulted by a song with no warning. All that untapped emotion emerges as a few bars of music plays…unsolicited, unwanted, unexpected.
Overwhelming grief rises up, again. You say, “But I thought I had worked my way through this; I felt like I was doing so much better!”
Grief is not linear, and just because it’s been some time since your last Christmas with your loved one, grief doesn’t disappear. It will always be a part of you because you loved them.
The “miracle of the season” occurs when you are able to transform some of the pain and tears of loss into joy and tears of gratitude for having loved. Your loved one is gone, but the love you shared is still alive. That focus on gratitude becomes the alchemy that may bring you some peace during the Holidays.
Just as you found your “new normal” in living each day without them, create a new holiday tradition that honors and includes the memory of your loved one. Don’t feel that you need to avoid conversations about your loved one because you will spoil family gatherings; your family members may also have fond memories they would like to share but may have been afraid to discuss for fear that they would be too painful for you.
Your loved one will always be a part of you, so cherish & celebrate your shared love this Holiday Season.
Sharon Clark
The Grief Interlude SeriesTM set of guided meditation CDs offers comfort and a respite from grieving.
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