Grieving…Blessed
July 25, 2009
BLESSED
When do you reach the point in your grieving that you feel blessed by the experience?
When do you transcend sorrow to feel gratitude? Gratitude for having loved and shared experiences that formed fond memories. Gratitude for feeling emotions, good & bad, along the way. Gratitude for your life being altered when your loved one entered it, and again forever changed when he left.
When does pain transform to serenity? When do you feel acceptance; a calm following the tumultuous torrent of emotions? When does an inner stillness arrive; a knowing that you have arrived at a place of feeling blessed?
Blessed, in part, for having survived the storm of losing your loved one and the ensuing darkness of grief. Passing through looming shadows that cloaked your joy and hope.
Finding peace at this place in your grief journey and with whom you’ve become along the way…wrapped in serenity. The same serenity felt when watching the sun slip below the horizon as the day comes to a close, and feeling blessed by its gift.
Blessed by an altered perspective that only comes as a result of loss. As a leaf buds in the spring to flower to full growth, then changes color in autumn to finally fall away in winter, so is your life…a changing landscape. You are blessed by the cycles and contrast each stage offers—lessons to be gathered as bouquets of flowers. Pick them gently and reflect upon their beauty.
So, in grieving, you pass through cycles and rhythms and arrive at some point at peace…at acceptance…at gratitude…at feeling blessed for having loved. Embrace that peacefulness and feel the serenity of acceptance.
Your love hasn’t died—it has only transformed. Blessings await you each time you choose to honor your love and your loved one. Feel blessed to watch another sunrise as it offers the promise of a new day of hope and a new bend in your journey.
Blessed, indeed…
Sharon Clark
Grieving…At the Edge of Midnight
July 25, 2009
AT THE EDGE OF MIDNIGHT…lies a new dawn.
Can you see it? A glimmer, a ray of light, a promise of what’s at the edge of midnight. Hope…a new beginning…a new dawn.
Grief holds us close to its breast, and just when we’re in the midst of our darkest hour, we feel a sensation, a stirring, an awareness. A feeling that while an ending has occurred, a new beginning is emerging from the spiral of life and death.
A new beginning that may be as faint as the sliver of morning before the sunrise. Hold onto this hope and let it carry you from the darkness of grief that has engulfed you for the past weeks and months. Look away from the darkness that is the deepest just before the dawn. Reach out to the light and the promise of a new you.
Our path through this life is often a solo journey. Many may join us for periods along the way, converging …weaving together through time and then departing. But our personal journey begins alone and ends alone. Listen to the stillness of that aloneness and find your center within that stillness. You will never be lonely within that center. Alone, perhaps, but always surrounded by the knowing that a new dawn, a new beginning awaits you.
As the chrysalis transforms into a new creature, you too can become the butterfly that has been forming within the darkness. Use this cocooning time you’ve had to deal with your grief, and experience your emotions. Then, in your own time, emerge from the shell into a brilliant new day. . .your day; your morning; your new beginning. Let this emergence become the dawn of your new life.
While you may never envisioned that you would be here, alone, you have a choice. You can choose to reach out to a new beginning, or remain locked in grief’s embrace. An embrace that brings no warmth or comfort. Realize that grief will never fully release you. Because we have loved, we will always grieve for what we have lost.
Your choice lies in honoring your loved one and moving forward, or remaining immobilized by the overwhelming pain stemming from the stark reality of your loss. As you now stand at the edge of midnight, turn toward the dawning of your new day of hope.
Sharon Clark
Grieving…Walking the Labyrinth of Grief
July 25, 2009
Walking the Labyrinth of Grief
A labyrinth is an ancient symbol that relates to wholeness. It combines the imagery of the circle and the spiral into a meandering but purposeful path. The concept of the labyrinth began in ancient times and has become an archetype for the course of life’s journey. It offers only one path to take in spite of its twists and turns…a path that leads to the center then back out again. There is only one choice to be made…to enter or not. We are all on the path that will eventually lead us into wholeness…like the labyrinth, our life has only one path. It is up to us to enter…or not.
At the opening of the labyrinth of grief lies an invitation. An invitation to explore your grief as you wind through its spirals—much like life itself, a constant rhythm of living that eventually leads to dying. Perhaps it is similar to the journey you and your loved one experienced. Explore your emotions along the spirals on the way to the center—the point of transition. The labyrinth’s confines offer opportunities to be close to your loved one and celebrate your lives’ experiences. . .to savor your joys shared over the years from a vantage point that few are blessed to witness.
See the labyrinth’s path strewn with small treasures to reflect upon—pick up the pieces of your shared past and relive the memories of your family, your dreams, and your love. Although reliving the past without a future to share is almost an impossible task to undertake, blessings beyond measure await you if you have the courage and strength to examine and explore your emotions and feelings at this sacred time.
The center point symbolizes transition. Your loved one has departed, but the love you shared is eternal. Wrap yourself in that loving thought as you begin the return journey alone.
As you move from the labyrinth’s center, you may be in your own spiral of emotional sorrow as well as gratitude. Although you are simply retracing the path you just walked, you may feel that you are embarking upon a different journey, and moving at a much different pace. On the return, the spirals grow outward in larger, peaceful circles with less urgency. You may choose to linger at certain places along each spiral as long as needed in order to do the healing work for that point in your journey.
As you pick up the treasured memories along the return path, you can appreciate them from a new vantage point—retrospective, and alone. You are now seeing through a veil of loss that adds an extra dimension to life not seen before.
Your return trip through grief’s labyrinth has no timeline. You will wind your way through the spirals at your own pace. Some days you may feel further from the center of grief than others, as you continue to turn over the treasures of memories and related emotions each day.
Grief is not linear—it is not measured by time and distance from your loved one’s death. Grief is shaped by the rhythm of emotion and life.
Sharon Clark
www.grieflinterlude.com
Grieving…Amidst the Tears
July 25, 2009
AMIDST THE TEARS….
At this time, you may be feeling a loss so insurmountable and overwhelming that you can’t imagine how you’re going to survive, how you’re going to go on without your loved one.
How is it possible that you’re in this place? How did it happen? And, why?
Many questions with few answers right now. You’re in a place of grief and a space of not knowing what is ahead for you. Grief immobilizes. It holds you in a place you not only don’t want to be, but many times feel as though you can’t move beyond. Its enormity has such power to keep you in its grip that you’re blinded in a fog of despair, unable to see your way out. Unknowing, fear, sadness and loneliness keep you in that vortex of grief, suspended in pain from your loss.
How do you move from this point of overwhelming loss? How do you move beyond your pain to peace? Finding your way from this point of loss through your grief ahead may seem an impossible task. There are no maps for you; there is only your knowing that can be found amidst the tears.
It may be a solo journey for you now, but you’re not really alone. Your loved one’s presence is around you…reach out to draw comfort and sustenance from it. Reach out for the strength and courage to face each morning, each evening, and the moments between.
Be still in these moments of grief as you are passing through them. . . . don’t rush. There are feelings and emotions that need to be acknowledged and experienced now. . .be still and listen to your heart.
Honor your loved one who has moved across the threshold to another place, and find comfort in the joys shared over your years together. Remember your shared life…remember your shared love. By reliving fond memories, you may help transform your grief into peace. Someone once said that fond memories make warm companions…a truth indeed.
As your tears of grief pour out, feel your emotions, and honor yourself as well as your loved one. Allow yourself to reach out to those around you and let them share in your grieving. Let them show their care and concern for you at this time. Receive their gifts of comfort graciously as you would receive a warm embrace.
During this time you may find that it takes a great deal of courage and inner strength to just get out of bed and put your feet on the floor each morning. Remember that each step you take is helping you to heal the emotional pain you are now experiencing.
Trust your inner voice to lead you on your journey through your grief…you know the answers to the questions, you simply need to be still and listen…listen.
Amidst the tears is healing for your heart.
Amidst the tears is cleansing for your pain.
Amidst the tears lies your doorway—push beyond your seeming limits to the new possibilities that await you.
Reach out and open the door to your new day of honor and loving remembrance for your loved one.
Open the door to your new day of healing and hope that lies amidst the tears.
Sharon Clark
GRIEF DEFINED
June 9, 2009
“Grief is the residue that remains in our heart after the tears have dried on our face.
It’s the ache that lingers when our loved one’s face fades from view.
It’s the yearning for the return to normal when normal will never again be.
It’s the threshold you have both crossed, but only you remain, alone.
Grief is the heaviness of body and heart that holds you in its embrace without comfort.
It’s the constant companion you do not look forward to seeing each day.
It’s the fog that surrounds your vision for tomorrow, and hides your joy today.
It’s the deepness of emotion that leaves you empty at the bottom.
It’s the gift of looking within you can discover over and over again.
It offers the warmth of remembrance of shared love.”
Sharon Clark
Honoring & Remembering
June 9, 2009
Memorial Day is a day of remembrance for those who have died in our nation’s service. Along with that remembrance comes honoring. And, not just for those who died in service to our country. Remembering and honoring our loved ones who have passed, is intricately woven into the fabric of grieving.
Someone once said “Bless those who have given their lives, so that we might know ourselves in their passing (origin unknown)”. How true is this statement for you?
Many times we only truly begin to know ourselves as a result of grieving. We also know that grief is not linear; we can feel just as much grief for our loss that may be decades old, as one that may have occurred last week. Time may help with blurring the edges a bit, but the grief is many times as deep as the love we felt for our loved one who is gone. So, honor that grief when it arises knowing that it is the other edge of love.
So, this Memorial Day, bless not only those who made the greatest sacrifice for our country, but also take a minute to bless all of our loved ones who have died. You can do that with fond remembrances and honoring the time they were here.
Sharon Clark
