// BLOG
YouTube video links
January 25, 2010
Use these links to view YouTube videos from Grief Interlude:
Sympathy Gift Suggestion: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHaGTXjHHtg
Guided meditations that can be used as a sympathy gift or grief support for those who are grieving.
Sympathy Gift Etiquette: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_2VhHfgvBM
Suggestions for how and when to send sympathy gifts that are meaningful to the family following the loss of a loved one.
Guided Meditation & Grief Support: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qMzMhqIC4g
Educates about guided meditation & how its imagery can assist those who are grieving the loss of a loved one.
Sharon Clark
Grief, A New Emotion
January 18, 2010
Grief is many times a new emotion for us. It’s one that we experience in connection with loss, and the deepest feelings are those associated with death. The final blow…the one thing we can’t control nor change.
Since it’s such an unfamiliar emotion, we rarely have any built-in coping skills in addressing or handling it. And, it seems that grief appears instantly, swiftly and is unrelenting–leaving us unable to breathe much less able to wrap our minds around how to cope with it.
The logical mind has few defenses against grief—it is so insidious and all-consuming that many times all we can do is make our best effort to hold on and ride its tumultuous waves. It’s a journey few are prepared for, and one that provides even fewer tools and aids for the travels.
Even those of us who have walked the path before feel ill-prepared; for although we’ve been through the journey, it’s an unfamiliar terrain each time. One that is unyielding and unwelcome while conjuring up the struggles with our previous losses and compounding the difficulty. We don’t overcome grief—at best we struggle through it; for really the only way out, is through.
Given that we rarely have the built-in coping skills to support our grieving process, we need to actively search out ways that will help us help ourselves. There is no “right” way to grieve, there is only our way.
Consider The Grief Interlude SeriesTM set of guided meditation CD’s that offers uplifting comforting messages and provides a brief respite from grieving.
Sharon Clark
Grief & the Holidays
December 6, 2009
Grief doesn’t take a “holiday” during the Holidays; in fact, many times it becomes even more intense.
Recalling family holiday traditions, and reliving our past when our loved one was still with us, inevitably happens. Playing videos of Christmases past, whether literally or in our mind’s eye, is part of the “season”.
Bittersweet holiday carols surround us as we walk through shopping centers, and sometimes we feel as though we’ve been assaulted by a song with no warning. All that untapped emotion emerges as a few bars of music plays…unsolicited, unwanted, unexpected.
Overwhelming grief rises up, again. You say, “But I thought I had worked my way through this; I felt like I was doing so much better!”
Grief is not linear, and just because it’s been some time since your last Christmas with your loved one, grief doesn’t disappear. It will always be a part of you because you loved them.
The “miracle of the season” occurs when you are able to transform some of the pain and tears of loss into joy and tears of gratitude for having loved. Your loved one is gone, but the love you shared is still alive. That focus on gratitude becomes the alchemy that may bring you some peace during the Holidays.
Just as you found your “new normal” in living each day without them, create a new holiday tradition that honors and includes the memory of your loved one. Don’t feel that you need to avoid conversations about your loved one because you will spoil family gatherings; your family members may also have fond memories they would like to share but may have been afraid to discuss for fear that they would be too painful for you.
Your loved one will always be a part of you, so cherish & celebrate your shared love this Holiday Season.
Sharon Clark
The Grief Interlude SeriesTM set of guided meditation CDs offers comfort and a respite from grieving.
Sympathy Gift Etiquette
September 17, 2009
Flowers have long been the traditional way to send your condolences, but there are other ways to express your feelings at a time of loss that becomes a lasting expression of your caring concern. Sympathy gifts can run the gambit from donations to a favorite charity in the name of the deceased to a care basket filled with comforting teas and books. The Grief Interlude SeriesTM set of guided meditation CDs is another item that can be a “self-help” tool that offers the bereaved family comfort and a respite from grieving during the first year following the loss.
After the funeral is over….
Sometimes a sympathy gift delivered after the funeral is over is more meaningful to the family. Many times during the funeral planning and service there are so many activities, the family is functioning in a numb, robotic state. Anytime within the first year after a death it is appropriate to send a message of sympathy and support. This can be especially welcome a couple of weeks following the service when the family may benefit from knowing that they aren’t forgotten and will welcome reminders and assurances that their grief journey is not traveled alone.
Another acknowledgement…
You may feel that even though you sent a sympathy card at the time of loss it might not be appropriate to send a sympathy gift a bit later. Grief can be acknowledged more than once or in more than one specific way. By reaching out to the bereaved family at various times following their loss you are demonstrating your care and concern for them during their grief journey which doesn’t end at the funeral service. Your ongoing care will be appreciated more than you may know.
What to say…
When writing a sympathy note or talking with the family, it may be difficult to know what to say or how to say it. First, say from your heart what you feel. Expressions of your compassionate concern, whether spoken or written, are gifts to the family—you may never know how meaningful they are and how uplifting they can be to the ones grieving.
There are widely used and accepted phrases (such as “my thoughts and prayers are with you”) to express your condolences. But if you simply frame your comments from your feelings of caring concern and your intent is to honor the one deceased, your heartfelt message will be conveyed. Also, if you have a fond memory about the deceased, share this with them; it expresses how much their loved one meant to you. It’s important to the family to know that their loved one is not forgotten.
Or, if you didn’t know the deceased well, but want to express your condolences to the bereaved family, keep your message simple. One quote that brought me great comfort is “Fond memories make warm companions”.
Sharon Clark
Grieving…Blessed
July 25, 2009
BLESSED
When do you reach the point in your grieving that you feel blessed by the experience?
When do you transcend sorrow to feel gratitude? Gratitude for having loved and shared experiences that formed fond memories. Gratitude for feeling emotions, good & bad, along the way. Gratitude for your life being altered when your loved one entered it, and again forever changed when he left.
When does pain transform to serenity? When do you feel acceptance; a calm following the tumultuous torrent of emotions? When does an inner stillness arrive; a knowing that you have arrived at a place of feeling blessed?
Blessed, in part, for having survived the storm of losing your loved one and the ensuing darkness of grief. Passing through looming shadows that cloaked your joy and hope.
Finding peace at this place in your grief journey and with whom you’ve become along the way…wrapped in serenity. The same serenity felt when watching the sun slip below the horizon as the day comes to a close, and feeling blessed by its gift.
Blessed by an altered perspective that only comes as a result of loss. As a leaf buds in the spring to flower to full growth, then changes color in autumn to finally fall away in winter, so is your life…a changing landscape. You are blessed by the cycles and contrast each stage offers—lessons to be gathered as bouquets of flowers. Pick them gently and reflect upon their beauty.
So, in grieving, you pass through cycles and rhythms and arrive at some point at peace…at acceptance…at gratitude…at feeling blessed for having loved. Embrace that peacefulness and feel the serenity of acceptance.
Your love hasn’t died—it has only transformed. Blessings await you each time you choose to honor your love and your loved one. Feel blessed to watch another sunrise as it offers the promise of a new day of hope and a new bend in your journey.
Blessed, indeed…
Sharon Clark
