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Is Grief a Universal Language? 3/4/10
March 4, 2010
As I watched the faces of the most recent earthquake survivors in Chile and those in Haiti, I knew what they were feeling even if I couldn’t understand the words…it was grief.
Relief agencies are usually onsite within hours to provide assistance to meet the immediate needs, such as water, food and shelter. But we know that once those physical needs are met, there are other emotional needs to be addressed as well. And, it may be a long-term task. I’ve said before “Grief is the residue that remains in our heart after the tears have dried on our face”.
And, this residue can remain for years…often so deeply ingrained from inattention or pushing it down, that it can suddenly reappear without warning, reminding us that it has never been resolved.
Grief is an “equal opportunity” emotion—it knows no race, creed, or gender. It’s often accompanied by feelings of anguish, disbelief, anger and fear. That’s why it’s so important for having ways to express our grief; and promote a dialogue about what is often a “taboo” topic. Our country, as is the case with many other cultures, is a grief-illiterate nation. It’s painful to talk about grief…but then, grieving is a painful process, but a necessary one.
Given its universal nature, we need more discussions about grief, and more support available for those grieving.
Sharon Clark
www.griefinterlude.com
Reconnecting with Love
February 14, 2010
“Grief is the residue that remains in our heart after the tears have dried on our face.”
Did you know that grief is on the same emotional continuum as love? I’ve found that how we grieve is related to how we’ve loved, and once our loved one has died, we sometimes only feel the grief that remains. Grief is the emotion, and grieving is the response–just as love as an emotion prompts loving thought and action.
Today, on this annual commemoration of love that is Valentine’s Day, focus on the love you feel for your loved one. Move away from the grieving, and into loving thoughts and actions. Through this movement, you will find that you will be embraced by love and truly reconnect with your loved one. Envelope yourself with fond memories and honor your love.
Sharon Clark
2/14/10
YouTube video links
January 25, 2010
Use these links to view YouTube videos from Grief Interlude:
Sympathy Gift Suggestion: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHaGTXjHHtg
Guided meditations that can be used as a sympathy gift or grief support for those who are grieving.
Sympathy Gift Etiquette: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_2VhHfgvBM
Suggestions for how and when to send sympathy gifts that are meaningful to the family following the loss of a loved one.
Guided Meditation & Grief Support: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qMzMhqIC4g
Educates about guided meditation & how its imagery can assist those who are grieving the loss of a loved one.
Sharon Clark
Grief, A New Emotion
January 18, 2010
Grief is many times a new emotion for us. It’s one that we experience in connection with loss, and the deepest feelings are those associated with death. The final blow…the one thing we can’t control nor change.
Since it’s such an unfamiliar emotion, we rarely have any built-in coping skills in addressing or handling it. And, it seems that grief appears instantly, swiftly and is unrelenting–leaving us unable to breathe much less able to wrap our minds around how to cope with it.
The logical mind has few defenses against grief—it is so insidious and all-consuming that many times all we can do is make our best effort to hold on and ride its tumultuous waves. It’s a journey few are prepared for, and one that provides even fewer tools and aids for the travels.
Even those of us who have walked the path before feel ill-prepared; for although we’ve been through the journey, it’s an unfamiliar terrain each time. One that is unyielding and unwelcome while conjuring up the struggles with our previous losses and compounding the difficulty. We don’t overcome grief—at best we struggle through it; for really the only way out, is through.
Given that we rarely have the built-in coping skills to support our grieving process, we need to actively search out ways that will help us help ourselves. There is no “right” way to grieve, there is only our way.
Consider The Grief Interlude SeriesTM set of guided meditation CD’s that offers uplifting comforting messages and provides a brief respite from grieving.
Sharon Clark
Grief & the Holidays
December 6, 2009
Grief doesn’t take a “holiday” during the Holidays; in fact, many times it becomes even more intense.
Recalling family holiday traditions, and reliving our past when our loved one was still with us, inevitably happens. Playing videos of Christmases past, whether literally or in our mind’s eye, is part of the “season”.
Bittersweet holiday carols surround us as we walk through shopping centers, and sometimes we feel as though we’ve been assaulted by a song with no warning. All that untapped emotion emerges as a few bars of music plays…unsolicited, unwanted, unexpected.
Overwhelming grief rises up, again. You say, “But I thought I had worked my way through this; I felt like I was doing so much better!”
Grief is not linear, and just because it’s been some time since your last Christmas with your loved one, grief doesn’t disappear. It will always be a part of you because you loved them.
The “miracle of the season” occurs when you are able to transform some of the pain and tears of loss into joy and tears of gratitude for having loved. Your loved one is gone, but the love you shared is still alive. That focus on gratitude becomes the alchemy that may bring you some peace during the Holidays.
Just as you found your “new normal” in living each day without them, create a new holiday tradition that honors and includes the memory of your loved one. Don’t feel that you need to avoid conversations about your loved one because you will spoil family gatherings; your family members may also have fond memories they would like to share but may have been afraid to discuss for fear that they would be too painful for you.
Your loved one will always be a part of you, so cherish & celebrate your shared love this Holiday Season.
Sharon Clark
The Grief Interlude SeriesTM set of guided meditation CDs offers comfort and a respite from grieving.
